Saturday 1484 – February 18th 2012

 Those of you that regularly follow my blog will know that it was my birthday last Saturday ( you can read about that day here ) and I decided I would do something  that I had been meaning to do again for a long time.

That something was sponsoring a child in another country.  It was a sort of birthday present to myself . I figured there was nothing I needed that badly and a child in another country probably needed everything very badly.

I first sponsored a child many years ago, back in the late 1980’s. His name was Nicholas Tiliokoi and he lived in Kenya. I kept one of his letters for the past 22 years which you can see below. I’ve often wondered what became of him.

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I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to do this again but better late than never. Or is it?

The letter from Plan ( read about them here ) arrived yesterday. I had said I didn’t mind where the sponsored child was but I wanted it to be a girl because girls are still hugely discriminated against in the majority of countries in the world and rarely have the same opportunities as boys. It happened that the child I will be sponsoring is also in Kenya.

I was expecting to be pleased that I was giving a little girl a chance for a better life but instead I opened the letter with a heavy heart and shed tears for her and for all the other children and their families that still need this kind of help in Kenya and around the world 22 years on.

Below is a photograph of 10-year-old Carren the girl I will be sponsoring for the next few years.

In a way I feel sad that she has to pose for a photograph to be sent to a complete stranger but I fully intend to keep and maintain contact with her for as long as she would like; to try to build a more personal relationship; a 2 way process.

Am I being ridiculous or melodramatic when I say it feels just a little bit like modern-day child trafficking?  Probably.

All I can do is sincerely hope that there will be a good outcome for this child and her community unlike the outcomes we normally associate with child trafficking.

I wonder what your thoughts are on this?

I thought long and hard about revealing Nicholas and Carren’s details but I am hoping that they would understand my reasons for doing so are to raise awareness.

By coincidence this week , while I was waiting to get news of the child I was to sponsor , I happened to read a post on a blog I have been following for some time. The blog’s called Echwalu Photography and is written by Edward Echwalu a photojournalist. I commend his work to you and you can read his latest post here

I have to warn you that this does not make easy reading.  I thought my heart would break as I read it and the sense of helplessness was overwhelming.. those that know me know that injustice always drives me crazy. Edward’s post is very shocking but it’s important that these things are known.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t care so much..

See you next week.

Saturday Girl

 PS. The links are iffy again this week… they do work but you need to put your cursor a bit underneath the link to make it work.

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You can see my photography blog Photomania here

Saturday 1485 – February 11th 2012

Last weeks post It’s a Big Issue was pretty serious and as this Saturday was both my Birthday and World Happy Day  ( which you can read about on the Action For Happiness website here  ) I thought I’d just write about the joyful day I had today.

Those who have been following  this blog for a while will know that photography is one of the things that makes me VERY happy and today was filled with that.  I was out most of the day  ( with a little interlude at my daughter’s ) tramping around fields in the snow.

After years of saying how much I hate snow, this year I have decided I love it ! Well I do when we get the sort of snow we have at the moment which is powdery and dry.

So not many words from me for once.. ( try not to sigh with relief quite so loudly! )… here are a few photos combining my love of light, trees and now snow too.

My gorgeous weeping willow tree at 7.30 a.m when it was minus 12 !

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12 Feb update -Ziggyshortcrust liked the tree above and it gave her inspiration for one of her Five Minute Faces … you can see the Tree Elf inspired by this tree here

I love the sharing blogosphere

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I’ll be posting more snowy scenes on my photography blog here –  Photomania   

The day was rounded off with a trip to the theatre with 2 friends of mine. We saw the VERY bawdy but terrific Canterbury Tales so I’ll leave you with a couple of photos from that – I decided not to post the one where a cast member sticks his bare bottom out of a window !!!!!

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 Saturday girl is off to catch up on all her favourite blogs – Goodbye ’til next week..

P.S - The links seem to be a bit Iffy this week. I needed to place my curser way underneath the actual link to open the one I wanted… try that if they don’t seem to work for you. Thanks

Saturday 1486 – 4th February 2012

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I know this is longer than my normal Saturday posts but I hope you’ll stick with it. It’s based on a real life story.  Thanks

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A real love story…

Hello my name’s John, I’m 42 and I’ve just got married to the love of my life. I know you might be thinking there’s nothing unusual in that but my story is a bit more unusual than most and if you’ve got time to hear it I’d like to share it with you.

You see the love of my life is very seriously ill and I am taking care of her. I knew she was ill when I married her and that was part of the reason why I did. I’m paying her back for changing her life completely to be with me and pulling me back from a life without love which was certain to end even more badly than it began.

But I’ve moved on too fast so let me go back.  

I was brought up in a children’s home, I guess because my parents didn’t want me, although I never really knew why. At 13 I was given heroin by some of the older boys and never had a choice about whether I took it or not; you took it or you got the hell beaten out of you. That’s the way it was.  

Anyway I liked it.

 I didn’t know what love was then and can’t remember ever feeling wanted by anyone, so heroin took me to a place that was warm and wonderful; an escape from horrible reality.  I didn’t get addicted right away though and at the time I didn’t even know you could. I was truly an innocent.

Anyway I expect you can guess what happened next. Once I was addicted I soon started to steal, got caught of course and eventually sent to prison and then quickly spiralled into homelessness. Children’s homes and prison don’t exactly prepare you for the real world so I never felt I would be able to manage keeping track of paying rent and that sort of thing.

There was something very freeing about living on the streets. No responsibility and no-one to answer to after a life of always having someone else in control.

I was pretty much dead inside and wouldn’t know an emotion if it punched me in the face. In fact when I was punched in the face (this happened a few times ) I didn’t really feel that either; the heroin took care of stopping feelings.

Apart from my dog who provided warmth, companionship and some protection, I lived alone on the streets for the best part of 19 years; except for a couple of years in prison in-between. I lived from begging, stealing and helping myself to things from skips and rubbish bins until 5 years ago I met Barbie.

Her real name is Barbara and I have no idea now why I started to call her Barbie because she’s nothing like the doll!  Anyway Barbie was working in the supermarket that I used to stand outside,  asking people who came out if they could spare me some change.

Barbie came out one day, gave me a cup of coffee and a sandwich and actually talked to me.  This is a pretty rare occurrence when you are living on the streets with most people just walking past you as though they don’t even see you;  sometimes even crossing the road to avoid you.  I expect you’ve done that?  You become invisible unless the police want to move you on or someone wants to take out their anger on you and kick you about a bit.

She came out most days after that and gave me food. She was wonderfully funny ( still is!) and so kind. About a year after we met she gave up her room in a rented house to live on the streets with me and my dog.

Most of you will find this strange and I do myself now when I look back at that time, but we were in love or at least she was in love with me.  I was still taking heroin so feelings only rarely managed to get through the drug’s control but I knew I cared about someone for the first time in my life. I sold The Big Issue because I wanted us to eat better and didn’t want to keep stealing and begging. Despite the lack of feelings I knew I was happier than I’d ever been until Barbie became ill 2 years ago, not because she was on the streets though, this was a serious unavoidable illness which threatens her life but probably saved mine.

I knew we couldn’t continue to live on the streets and with a struggle we managed to get housed by the council, on account of Barbie’s illness, and I started a methadone course which I’m gradually weaning off now.

It’s been very, very hard to adjust to settled life and even harder to experience emotion but I’m determined to succeed. I’m determined because just as I had no choice about whether I took heroin or not at the age of 13 I feel ( yes I feel !) that I have no choice but to be capable of caring for my wife Barbie because I love her so much; an emotion I am glad to be able to feel. As each human being does ,she deserves to be cared for when she needs it the most.

I’m telling you this story because I want you to know that few people set out in life to deliberately become junkies, alcoholics or homeless. It could happen to you or someone you know so try not to judge too harshly.

I’m hoping the next time you see someone begging on the streets or selling the Big Issue you’ll stop for a moment and say hello or smile at them even if you don’t give them money or buy the magazine. Just treating them like a fellow human being and acknowledging they’re there makes such a difference.

Thanks for taking the time to listen to me and wish me luck.

John.

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John and Barbara are not the real names of the people involved and the photo of the Big issue seller is not a photo of John but the story, though a little fictionalised, is based on someone’s real life.

Thanks for reading.

If you want to know more about the Big Issue you can do that here

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You can see my photography blog Photomania here

Saturday 1487 – 28th January 2012

Hello all,

                  I’ve been following  Artboy68′s 100 Portraits Project for many weeks now. Scott Hamilton, the  extremely talented author of the blog, set himself the challenge of making 100 miniature portraits in pencil & coloured pencil in 20 weeks. With a few exceptions the portraits are mostly based on public profile pictures on blogs and he sends the original drawing to the subject if they want them ( and who wouldn’t as they’re lovely )

People who commented on his project early on were in… I was cheeky (surely not! ) and emailed him a couple of photos and he picked a B&W one of me taken when I was about 20 and yesterday I was his number 79. You can see the full post here

This is it –

For some reason when I saw Scott’s drawing of me at 20 I immediately thought of Owen Sheers beautiful poem “Not Yet My Mother” and thought I’d like to share it all with you  today so here it is below : -

NOT YET MY MOTHER

Yesterday I found a photo
of you at seventeen,
holding a horse and smiling,
not yet my mother.

The tight riding hat hid your hair,
and your legs were still the long shins of a boy’s.
You held the horse by the halter,
your hand a fist under its huge jaw.

The blown trees were still in the background                                              
and the sky was grained by the old film stock,
but what caught me was your face,
which was mine.

And I thought, just for a second, that you were me.
But then I saw the woman’s jacket,
nipped at the waist, the ballooned jodhpurs,
and of course the date, scratched in the corner.

All of which told me again,
that this was you at seventeen, holding a horse
and smiling, not yet my mother,
although I was clearly already your child.

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I love to listen to Owen Sheers reading this. Try listening to him by clicking this here  and then clicking on the recording. Such a lovely voice…..

This got me thinking of the passing down of genes and how my daughter Katy, if she hadn’t already seen it, might have looked at the original photo and thought “Oh she’s very familiar” before realising it was me  – not yet her mother. …..

People have always said she looks like me; particularly when she was younger..( and when I was younger !!)  but less so now.

I don’t know how alike we are,  what do you think?

One thing I do know is that we both appear to like sleeping !!

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My photo was taken by my lovely friend Lisa of Puttyfoot - you can see some of Puttyfoot’s work  here
Saturday girl signing off and saying thanks again Artboy!

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P.S – Here’s my other blog – Photomania

Saturday 1488 21st January 2012

I didn’t set foot outside the house today, partly because it was raining most of the day but also because I hadn’t felt particularly well all week and that, coupled with a very busy and stressful working week, meant that the house was in a bit of a mess!  Housework is soooo dull ( for another post? )

Naturally, as I always do, I got sidetracked!  I decided I would look at my books. “Look at her books? Doesn’t she mean read books?” I can hear you thinking “what is she on about now?”

Well you see I collect books, 1^st Editions or Limited Editions mostly and I have some really beautiful ones.  They range from Rupert Bear to Wisdens, Sebastion Faulks, to James Joyce, Ted Hughes to Edward Gorey, to name but a few.. Some are very old, some more modern editions. Some are signed by the author or illustrator or both. Some are that most sumptuous of book made by Private Presses from beautiful paper with gorgeous dustjackets and decorative endpapers.

I thought I would share some of them with you to show you what I love about books as works of art, but first…

When I was looking at them it got me thinking about eBook readers. When the eBook reader ( carefully avoiding advertising here :) )  first came out I remember thinking. Oh, for goodness sake. Do we have to have electronic everything. What’s wrong with paper books.  I like to sit on a train and surreptitiously look at the cover of the books people are reading to see what the book is. Not possible if they’re reading a kindle…grrrr

Then I got worried that people would stop buying paper books and even more worried that publishers, especially small publishing houses would stop producing limited edition beautiful books.  It felt to me like an attack on our cultural soul.  

Also, I imagine it will be easy to pirate eBooks and this will surely affect profits for publishers and payments for authors, don’t you think?

I haven’t bought an eBook reader and have no particular desire to do so, as of this moment, but then I am a bit of a luddite where some technology is concerned and tend not to follow the next electronic craze…

But….

I can see how useful an eBook reader could be. It’s lightweight, doesn’t take up much room and probably best of all, if your eyesight is failing, you can make the font bigger so it’s easier to read. Hmmmm I’m starting to warm to the idea!

 I can see too that it would be great if students didn’t have to carry around loads of heavy books but could have them all stored and updated on an eReader; probably less expensive too.

But..

They could get stolen or lost so that all your books are lost too, break or run out of battery just when you get to the interesting bit because you forgot to charge it.

So will the paper book survive the electronic onslaught?

For most fiction especially airport type blockbuster popular fiction sadly I think the eReader will have ( has had) an enormous  impact, but just as television didn’t kill the radio ( although it was widely thought that it would ) and the Internet didn’t kill TV ( though it was widely thought that it would ! ) I don’t think the eReader will finish off the paper book altogether though it has and will severely reduce the numbers produced.  It will also reduce the numbers of trees planted and then cut down to produce paper. Is that a good thing?

It’s a matter of aesthetics and the pull of history. There will always be those of us who love the feel , the weight,  the smell, the beauty of a paper book; the sharing of a physical book with a friend ( you can hardly lend an eBook! Actually legally  I don’t think you can though you can lend an eReader loaded with a book? ) . Large illustrated books too do not do well on eReaders

I think there will always be a market for beautifully produced limited edition books which will be works of art but these are likely to be very expensive so only available to collectors or the very rich. Mind you maybe that was always the way? 

So back to my books…below are some photos to give you an idea of why I love the paper book in all it’s glory. Ohhh it was hard to choose which ones to show you!

Click on any picture for a better look.

1st up the Pennyroyal editions of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, designed and illustrated by Barry Moser  with one of the illustrations below them of Tweedledum and Tweedledee.

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Next up The Book of Ruth one of only a 1000 copies published by Bobbs-Merrill in America with the most sumptuous paper and glorious typeface.

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Next is a copy DH Lawrence Love Among The Haystacks published by the Nonesuch Press. Very plain dustjacket but lovely book underneath and a limited edition..

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I could be here all day adding books but I think I should probably be doing other things!  So I will just add a few more random photos to illustrate my love of the paper version of books which will always stay with me – an eReader could never replace that! 

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 Look below at the page edges and yellow/ green cover of the little book above called Latterday Symphony – A thing of Beauty is indeed a joy forever.

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If you love books too buy them or lose them !

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Ps take a look at Photomania too